I’m an adult. I’ve made my own choices. Some good and, I must admit, some bad. But don’t we learn from our mistakes? Shouldn’t we try to live how we want to live and not how we are expected to, as long as we’re not causing any harm.
I was never career focused so to me a job was just a job. A means to going out, having fun, shopping and paying towards house bills. So after having children, my choice to be a stay at home mum seemed perfect. Obviously, I discussed it with my husband and as we were financially stable he agreed.
For the next 7 years that’s what I did. Even though it wasn’t easy, overall I really enjoyed it. There were periods when I had to return to work, children are expensive, but it was always short term.
During this time, I hated social events. This is when I would normally be asked “what do you do for work?” I’ve never been embarrassed about being a housewife but the reaction from some people was almost degrading! “Oh… Good for you” (in sarcastic tone) or the worst comment ever was “don’t you miss being you?” Seriously! Am I not being me if I’m staying at home bringing up my children? I know times have changed and woman are no longer expected to stay at home, but surely that is still our choice.
After years of feeling like people were looking down their nose’s at me, I did decide to go back to work. In fact, first I even went back to studying, which was tremendously difficult with 3 young children… And so I was back on the career ladder.
The first few months went by and I was settling into working life, I was enjoying it but also felt I was missing out on so much. I stuck with it and a couple of years flew past. My eldest son was now at secondary school, middle son was in last year of primary and youngest was only 7years old. As I got more experienced in my work role my responsibilities grew, it came to the point where I was bringing work home! Which meant EVEN MORE time away from the children.
I was so ready to pack it all in! I felt I was letting my kids down! I’d given in to the pressures of society and returned to work, when all I really wanted to do was raise my children.
The final straw came one evening when my 7 year old drew me a picture. It was a picture of all the family and he’d labelled it with our names. Only daddy’s name was ‘Mr No see a man’ and mine was ‘Mrs No See a lady’. I was MORTIFIED! I hadn’t realised that he missed having us around so much, my returning to work was having such an effect on him! A quick decision was made and being the lower household earner, I handed in my notice at work.
So, for the past 2 years I have been a very proud housewife. I’m happy, my husbands happy and my children are happy. I’ve given up caring what anyone else thinks on the matter, I should have stuck to my decision in the first place.