What the heart wants

Why do we always want the things we know, or are told, are bad for us?

Is it just human nature to be attracted to the bad?

Or is it that the bad things are generally better than the good?

Confused? So am I…

For instance let’s take a look at chocolate! We all know it’s full of calories and therefore terrible for the stomach, hips and thighs. But does that make us crave it even more? We grew up being told that if we behave we could have a treat. Chocolate was a ‘treat’ so is that how it has stuck in our minds. If we feel down and need a pick me up, we instantly think to treat ourselves. So we reach for a treat!

It’s been imprinted in our brains. Yes, I’ve been good today, I deserve a treat! Chocolate!

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Had we grown up being told – “If you’re good you can have some cucumber“, would we now turn to cucumber when we want a treat? Interesting concept, 🤔

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Lets move on and try something else bad for us…

Alcohol! This time lets imagine our first drink. It’s a family party and everybody is having loads of fun when suddenly mum or dad say “have a drink if you want, a little ones ok.” (Obviously you’re nearly at the legal age anyway) Now it’s imprinted on our impressionable young minds that party = drinking alcohol when you’re having fun!

If we had been told “have some juice, it’s a party” would we all being going out on nights out and ordering juice? 🤔

OK, maybe it’s not as simple as that! In fact I know it’s not. But you can see how society and upbringing may leave a lasting effect on us.

(By the way these cocktails look like they could quench my thirst!)

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Now the big one! Something I’ve often wondered as it’s mentioned so many times in movies, magazines and real life…

Why are girls attracted to bad boys and vice versa?

If you know that a boy is bad, has probably cheated on past girlfriends, thinks himself as a player, maybe a bit of a thief and gets into trouble with the law, why would you waste your time on him??? 🤔🙄

This one definitely perplexes me! I wouldn’t have looked twice at a bad boy but I know friends who did. And the one attraction was their reputation. I don’t get it! Is it the hope that your love will win this person over? Are you going to be the one who will turn this person’s life around and finally get them to settle down?

Bit far-fetched I know, sounds like a movie. Maybe we watch too many movies and it’s starting to mix with real life in our brains?

Or is it our rebellious streak trying to break out, you want to look cooler so want into this crowd? But again, why??? Why is being/acting bad, good!x

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From the research I’ve done, most people state it’s a confidence thing. That these bad boys (or bad girls) are so full of themselves that they gleam confidence. And this sounds like it could be right.

Is this the main contributing factor – Confidence = Ego = Self-worth = bad boy (girl)?

So why aren’t good girls and good boys oozing with confidence? I really can’t answer this one. In my mind they are the better people so should have more confidence, but if they did – would their personalities then change?

Would they then become egotistic and be converted to the dark side?

I’ve probably confused you guys by letting you into my head and rambling on! But I’d love to know what you think on the matter…

Why are girls attracted to bad boys (and vise versa)?

Do you go for bad boys (girls)? … If yes, WHY???

Waiting to hear your thoughts because as usual…. I’m BAFFLED! (there’s my name again) 😁

Suki… X

37 thoughts on “What the heart wants

  1. MissteriosoDas says:

    I definitely think it’s the movie effect. To believe that I am going to be the one who is going to change the bad boy is really something out of the world. Why take so much trouble for little credit 😀 I would definitely not think of cucumber as a treat too. Lol loved your post☺️

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Express the Gabbiness says:

    Interesting concepts. Maybe it’s the challenge or reverse psychology. When it comes to the candy and bad habits, the more someone tells us not to do it, the more we want to, perhaps? I think maybe with the attraction to bad boys/girls it could also be the adventure factor. That feeling of wanting to break out the comfort zone that’s appealing. I don’t know just adding to your train of thought 😊

    Liked by 1 person

  3. ASMC says:

    I always wonder if its a trust and expectations thing. Like.. At least we know chocolate, wine and bad guys are bad.. We know what to expect.. Whereas what if you fall for a great kind guy.. And he ends up having another family, or mass murderer.. Coping is better than disappointment? I don’t know.. Lovely blog 🙂 thank you x

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Anonymous says:

    I’m attracted to bad boys, sorry! I think it’s because I’m so quiet do need a louder partner. I haven’t found true love yet so maybe I should change my approach

    Liked by 1 person

  5. nobrain9 says:

    I would love to see another angle to it. I don’t think there is a good boy or good girl. Nobody is perfect. We have done mistakes from the start itself. Remember the Adam’s fruit? Just for argument sake, let’s assume that there are bad and good guys. Who defines good and bad? For some drinking is bad while for others they see a non drinking guy a dumb one. I think all lies in how one looks at it. May be the girl is so good that she is looking the good side of the bad guy. Who knows he might be a real good guy.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Chris.Lemos says:

    Bad boys have a certain mysterious aura around them. Hahaha maybe its really how they are projected in the movies.. I think girls are attracted to bad boys with the hope that their “love” can change them into being better a person.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Blended Hope says:

    Reverse psychology!!
    As far as bad boys…I think they keep you guessing and good boys are predictable. I’m so glad I found a good man that keeps me on my toes guessing what kind of fun he can come up with!!

    Liked by 1 person

  8. ELLE says:

    For me, I was attracted to a ‘bad boy’ because I had dated a stream of good ones for the majority of my life. I wanted to experience that different side of love and dating, and I was well aware that I was setting myself up for an unhealthy relationship–but ultimately, what I learned at the end of it were a lot of experiences I would have never known otherwise. It opened up my perspective of inherent goodness, of emotional maturity, of drugs and love and loss. I think self-awareness is a crucial step that decides how you end up after you’ve made that ‘wrong choice’.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. AmyRose🌹 says:

    I used to be attracted to the wrong sort of boy all because I was rebelling and OH did I just want to party and well you know. (wink) Today however, those bad boys do natta for me. Been there, and believe me it aint worth the trouble. In fact when I see these types (both male and female alike) I dislike them immediately for they do not radiate confidence but arrogance and they shout EGO. Today I know who I am and I walk “real” confidence everywhere I go. Also, you have raised some thought provoking thoughts about chocolate/cucumbers etc. How much are we “programmed” when young? Interesting thoughts ….. ☺️

    Liked by 1 person

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