A bad date

Lisa meets her friend in their local café one Sunday morning. She had been out on a blind date the day before and her friend can’t wait to hear all the little details…

Friend: So? Was he cute?

Lisa: Yeah, he was. But that was the only good thing about him!

Friend: Seriously!? Why what happened?

Lisa: Well… He was waiting to meet me at the bar as planned. I recognised him because we had both arranged to be holding a yellow rose. I was quietly impressed so I went to greet him with a hug when he opened his arms out wide and said…

Hey! You know, once in a while someone amazingly beautiful comes along… Here I am!

Friend: No way! Bit full of himself then?

Lisa: I was flabbergasted! Instead of complimenting me he bigged himself up! I ended up shaking his hand and walking into the bar quietly.

Friend: But it got better after that?

Lisa: Sort of… We sat and chatted a while. I started to relax and so did he… He really did! Then he said we should move on to get some dinner. Truthfully, I thought he’d already eaten from the strange noises his body was making! But he said we should move on, in fact he said…

We’ve been sitting here so long my butt has fallen asleep!

I said – I know, I heard it snore a couple of times!!!

Friend: NOOOO! He must have felt really relaxed with you!!! Then what?

Lisa: He took me for dinner at that amazing Greek restaurant. The food was awesome, the atmosphere was charming and the topic went onto love. Things seemed to be taking a turn. Until he told me he loved whole heartedly, he took my hand into his and said…

Love me and I’ll move mountains to make you happy… Hurt me and I’ll drop those mountains on your head!

Friend: OMG! Is this guy for real? Creepy!!!

Lisa: I was shocked, just laughed it off. But, Yeah! Was starting to feel a bit weary.

Friend: So you called it a night? 

Lisa: I told him I had to visit my mum in the morning so couldn’t stay out late. So he acted like a true gentlemen and walked me home. 

Friend: At least he got something right.

Only thing is… we passed a tree and he pulled out a knife and started carving our initials on it! He actually thought I was into him! What I couldn’t understand is – Why would he bring a knife on our date???

Friend: But you got home safe, RIGHT???

Lisa: Yeah. He walked me to my door and I think he was waiting for a kiss. But obviously I didn’t! Then he complimented himself again! He said…

You know the best thing about me is that I’m a limited edition. There’s no other copies of me. And I’m all yours Baby!!!

Friend: Ewww! What a sleaze!

Lisa: I said ‘Bye’ as quick as I could and slammed the door shut!

Friend: Well good riddance to bad rubbish I say!

Lisa: I agree. But now he keeps calling me!

I wish there was an app to delete your number out of other people’s phones! I really need to use it!!!

 

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So, have you ever been on a bad date? What was the outcome?

Let’s share our dating experiences and hopefully prevent some future disasters!

Waiting to hear from you…

Suki… X

Published by Baffledmum

I'm a mum to 3 lovely boys who can drive me crazy at times and a pet dog who listens to me more than anyone else in my house! Very happily married and generally settled in life. Love to laugh. Love to write! Love to read! Love to dream...

39 thoughts on “A bad date”

  1. Anonymous says:
    Reply

    Awesome post, a great laugh to start the day! Lol. I need that app too there’s loads of people I would like to delete my number from. 😬
    Keep up the writing your great. Your posts make me laugh when I need a laugh and your poetry is out of this world. Nice 1!

    Liked by 3 people

  2. UrsulaB says:
    Reply

    Yep. Agree. You’re posts are so great! I however have given up after the last one started crying (literally) about his mom making him go shopping with her as a kid. I’m thinking therapy session or date? Run Forest RUN! 😨

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Anonymous says:
    Reply

    Lol! Yes I need that app too! 😕 I’ve never been on a blind date I’m too precautious. Dating is bad enough even when you know the guy. I’m glad my dating days are over I’m happy married now. 😉

    Liked by 1 person

  12. @Mehakkhorana says:
    Reply

    I’ve been enjoying your blog! Therefore, I wanted to let you know that I nominated you for the Sunshine Blogger Award. Congratulations!!!. It’s completely optional to take part, but can be a great way to promote you blog.😊😊

    Liked by 1 person

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