Dealing with bullies

Bullies are everywhere!

They reside on the school playground, in the work place, in the car parks even in our homes. There’s honestly no place to hide from them.

A bully will put you down, direct rude remarks in your direction, hit you and make your life a living hell!

So how do you deal with a bully?

In some instances, bullies can be reported and dealt with. Such as in school or in a workplace; reports can be made, investigated and handled. In other circumstances, bullies can be avoided. If you stay out of their way, you wont get the abuse.Β 

But what do you do when the bully is inside your head?

Yes, that’s where this post is heading…

The bully that is you, the bully that is bullying yourself, the bully that you can’t report and the bully that you can’t escape!

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This post was inspired by my youngest son. During a conversation with him the other day, he told me he was useless!

Obviously this shocked me as he was so serious, not his normal jokey self. I told him “Your not useless“, to which he replied “yes I am, I can’t do anything!

He was talking about school work as he is really struggling at the moment. The conversation went on with me explaining to him that his teacher was really impressed as he was trying so hard to improve academically. Also, just because he isn’t good at maths, doesn’t mean he hasn’t got other talents. I told him he was a computer whiz and his imagination was out of this world! Furthermore, I told him, he could accomplish anything if he truly wanted to…

My words worked and he left happier in himself… He went off to fight a battle with his toy soldiers in his bedroom – Told you he’s imaginative!

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But it made me think about that bully that lays dormant in our heads, always ready and willing to put us down when we are at our weakest.

How do we tackle this bully?

How do we stay positive when this little devil is on alert and can easily turn our positivity into negativity?

It’s so easy to listen to that bully when we don’t have another person to tell us we are worth it. However, we are not always surrounded by good friends and loved ones to give us that lift, that push back into our positive, happy place.

How do WE deal with the bully OURSELVES?

Push that bully out of your head! Hit them hard with so much positive talk, positive quotes, positive thoughts, positive aspirations that the bully finds it hard to breathe and leaves its place in your head!

And the positivity doesn’t stop there. You must ensure that it never comes back. Fill that empty space from which the bully left, with self-love.

Look yourself in the mirror, smile and soak in the good energy. Tell yourself you are worth it and you are good enough.

To tackle any bully we must first tackle ourselves. If we can’t put ourselves down, then what hope does any bully have? NONE!

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I understand this is an ongoing battle… but it is a battle we all fight.

Please leave me a comment and share any other tips you have on promoting self-love.

Be kind to yourselves…

Suki… X

 

58 Comments Add yours

  1. Thought for change says:

    Loved the post. I do know that I am my bully but I just can’t drive him out of my head.😡

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Baffledmum says:

      That’s the difficult bit! … Keep trying… X

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Thought for change says:

        I will.😊

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Very well explained πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚

    Liked by 2 people

      1. Definitely very well narrated πŸ™‚

        Liked by 1 person

  3. Farhaj Jebin says:

    Precise and precious as well β™₯ I feel it’s an inspiration to all and sundry β™₯

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Baffledmum says:

      I really do hope so… X

      Liked by 1 person

  4. sharolina123 says:

    Another great post!
    Doesn’t how many times I tell myself to stop ‘beating’ myself up, and adding unnecessary pressure, the bully in my mind is a stubborn and restless one! Sx πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Baffledmum says:

      I know the feeling… It’s an ongoing battle but one we must win… X

      Like

  5. I remember my bully inside being very strong once but I have sort of calmed it down for

    Liked by 1 person

  6. ….oh that was sent midway….I m sorry. I have kind of calmed it down this bully by achieving the targets, the daily ones amidst all the noise it keeps making. At the end of the day, my brain has understood that it might shout but can’t really hurt me. It’s weak. And thrives only on our fears.
    Good post Suki…πŸ€˜πŸ‘πŸ€˜

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Baffledmum says:

      That’s a great way to look at it. As long as the positive side is stronger, we can silence the negativity… X

      Liked by 1 person

  7. Very true… Kill them with kindness… I love your posts… Thanks for sharing β™₯
    Xoxo

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Baffledmum says:

      Thank you, glad you appreciate my writing… X

      Liked by 1 person

  8. southernlycomfort says:

    Great post! That bully lives on in so many of our heads. I practice daily to keep the noise out. I speak as kindly to myself as I would a small child. My favorite line is “I am fine, great, magnificent, extraordinary.”

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Baffledmum says:

      I think it is a daily task because we will have ups & downs. I’m glad you have it under control… X

      Liked by 1 person

  9. Very well written! What you think about yourself is the most important impression…Yes!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Baffledmum says:

      Yes it is… Glad you agree. X

      Liked by 1 person

  10. MissusBird says:

    I hate fear- that’s my battle a lot of the time-fear or people, fear of what they think of me etc πŸ™„ I think it’s good to acknowledge whatever fears you have, then speak out loud your worthiness of greatness. Eg. “I deserve to be happy”, “I will not tolerate people who do not respect me”, “I will speak truth even if the crowd doesn’t agree” and so on. πŸ€·πŸ½β€β™€οΈ that’s what I’d do at least 😊

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Baffledmum says:

      That’s the best way to deal with the bully inside, to let it know you know you are strong… Thank you for reading and commenting… X

      Liked by 1 person

  11. I have learned to deal very simply with the bully in my head: as soon as that voice goes off I stop and start chanting: Shut up and get out of my head. Over and over and over until finally I have drowned the voice or driven it into the closet it likes to hide in. The more that I have done this, the quieter and quieter that voice is becoming. πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Baffledmum says:

      Well done! A bully never likes to be talked over & when it knows nobody is listening, it gives up! Great self worth! X

      Like

      1. 😊😊Thank you

        Liked by 1 person

  12. The kaby's says:

    Great Interpretation….as usually you do in every post…
    This is one of my favorite topic…
    Self Love : The way to meet him who we actually are. But the coffer is in the webs weaved by the demons keeping us apart from this valuable treasure. Like silent killers, cut the threads one by one and make your way through the chest of the bully…..
    Wonderful post..
    !!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Baffledmum says:

      I’m glad you liked it. It was a difficult post to write as it’s such a delicate issue. But you seem to have it under control… X

      Liked by 1 person

      1. The kaby's says:

        Might be,… I think..
        πŸ€”

        Liked by 1 person

    1. Baffledmum says:

      Thank you 😘😊

      Like

    1. Baffledmum says:

      I’m glad you liked it… X

      Liked by 1 person

  13. Awe, I just experienced this with my son yesterday. We just have to retrain our thoughts. Easier said than done, right? Lol. I’m glad he has a mom like you to convince him otherwise. Great post 😊

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Baffledmum says:

      I hope your sons ok, it’s a heart breaking thing to hear as a parent. I’m sure you handed the situation brilliantly as well… X

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Aww thank you. ❀️❀️

        Liked by 1 person

  14. Wow. This is a very interesting concept. The self bullying overflows into anxiety, self sabotage, and so much else. I think giving up the bully in our heads is a lifelong journey.

    Liked by 1 person

  15. Nidhi says:

    True and well defined πŸ‘ŒπŸ‘πŸ’

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Baffledmum says:

      Thank you 😊

      Like

      1. You’re welcome ☺

        Liked by 1 person

  16. Disa Rastogi says:

    Such a great post, we all need to fight the negativity within. I generally hear relaxing music every morning.

    Liked by 1 person

  17. Alexis Rose says:

    Such a great post! 😊
    Its amazing what we say to ourselves that we wouldn’t say to another person.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Baffledmum says:

      You’re so right! We’re kinder to others than to ourselves… We must change our ways… X

      Liked by 1 person

  18. Nasib says:

    Ignore them, live your life. Act they are not exist. Stay with bright side of happiness and enjoy every moment from your life.

    Remember to live a great story πŸ˜‰
    https://nomadweb.co/live-a-great-story/

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Baffledmum says:

      Very true! Thank you… 😊

      Like

  19. I like the way you handled the situation. For one thing when a childs mind gets set to something it’s really important to change it if the thinking is wrong. They are at such a tender age.
    You’re right though. It’s always in our mind. Not just kids but even adults have so much of doubts and lack of self confidence that it is really hard to get over it and look at the brighter side. We must always believe the achievements we have in our life is because of us and we can do whatever we want to only if our heart and mind is set towards it.
    Great post😍

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Baffledmum says:

      Thank you for three great comment. You are right, we need to have more confidence in ourselves… X

      Liked by 1 person

      1. You’re welcome ❀

        Liked by 1 person

  20. Eliza says:

    Love this post!
    I don’t find it easy not to listen to the negativity as it isn’t self talk but negative beliefs based on reality.
    Something that has helped me a lot is writing to myself and tuning into the me that believes in me.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Baffledmum says:

      You do whatever works for you. We are all different & as long as we are talking care of ourselves, that’s the main thing… Thanx for contributing… X

      Like

  21. What a great post! I’m struggle with my daughter who just completely downs herself at the slightest mistake sometimes I know what she’s feeling but it’s definitely a hard thing to fight.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Baffledmum says:

      It is… All we can do as parents is to keep reminding them of all their positives. Hopefully soon she’ll start to see them herself… X

      Like

  22. Miss Mental says:

    such an important message! the biggest bullies are often in our heads and they are the hardest to get rid off x

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Baffledmum says:

      Yes! & that’s the bully we need to fight first… X

      Like

  23. shoniessky says:

    You gave great advice and a lot of children even adults go through this.. You handled it well. Great post

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Baffledmum says:

      Thank you.. 😊

      Liked by 1 person

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