A short story
I knew I couldn’t go on like this, something had to change.
It wouldn’t be easy but it had to be done. I would feel so much better after, free to start over and look for that ‘something’ I could always feel was missing.
So I sat him down…
“I’m sorry” I told him but he couldn’t understand my reasoning.
“It’s not you, its me” I said. The look in his eyes pierced through my skin. Was it anger or shock? Whatever it was, it made me feel awful. I almost told him I would give it another go… almost. But I managed to stay strong. And it was over. He walked away and left me feeling lighter.
That night I missed him. I couldn’t sleep as every time I closed my eyes all I could see was that look on his face. It made my heart ache. When I did manage to sleep, I dreamt of him. Maybe I’ll feel better tomorrow, I told myself…
The next morning I missed him. I missed his ‘good morning’ text message that used to start my days. I missed the smile that took control of my face after reading it and the giddy feeling it left in my belly. Maybe I need a couple of days to get him out of my system, then I could move on properly.
Over the next few days, I still missed him. I missed his afternoon phone calls during his break at work, just to see if I was ok. I missed him picking me up from work when we had dinner dates. I missed his arms around me as we watched TV. I missed his stupid jokes. I missed him staying over at mine which led to even missing his dirty socks thrown on the floor. I missed his laugh, his smile, his kiss, his touch… I missed HIM! I missed him so much!
What had I done? All this time I was trying to work out what was missing from our relationship instead of focusing on all those things I was missing now.
I wait outside his parents house after work, it’s freezing cold. The hours are passing by but I’m determined to catch him as he returns home. I consider knocking the door and waiting inside however I quickly remind myself of that one brief meeting with his mum, it was apparent that she hadn’t liked me. I never could understand what I had done to leave such an impression. I decide to wait it out in the cold.
It’s now approaching 9pm; I’ve been standing here over 3 hours. Reluctantly I decide to call it a day, I could always try again tomorrow. I turn to leave when unexpectedly, out of the corner of my eye I see his car approaching. Anxiety and excitement are building up in my body all at once! Right, get ready, I tell myself whilst trying to straighten out my fizzy hair with my hands. This is it! This is the moment I must grovel and do whatever it takes to win back my love.
He steps out of the car and I do all I can to refrain from running across the road into his arms. I give him a minute to see if he looks around. He does… But not at me. He looks towards the passenger side of the car as a glamorous, exotic, female silhouette exists. He takes her hand and gathers her in his arms for a kiss.
I stand there aghast! I’m overwhelmed with a pain that is penetrating through my heart. It can’t be! How could he move on so quickly? My head is shaking with utter disbelief as I try to hold back my tears. It can’t be real, I’m trying to convince myself, there must be an explanation.
The explanation is granted by the sound from another in the car… “Daddy, Mummy, wait for me”.
I always sensed there was something missing from our relationship. Something wasn’t quiet right. But I never would have guessed that the something my heart was missing would be… His heart…
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