The Death Stare!

Growing up I was a very obedient child… Yes, I really was!

My family has always been extremely close and my parents were fantastic but yet I was terrified of them! They never raised a hand to us, they never shouted and I can’t remember ever having items/toys banned or being grounded.

So what kept me and my two siblings in line, you must be wondering? … It was my mum’s DEATH STARE!

It was harsh! It terrified us! She only had to look in our direction with that furry in her eyes and we knew we had crossed the line. So we would stop dead in our tracks and redeem our behaviour instantly.

person eye
Photo by Victor Freitas on Pexels.com

It’s funny now thinking about it because although we knew this stare meant we were inches away from getting in trouble, we never actually knew what getting into trouble meant! We’d never had any repercussions. Now I wonder, had I not stopped when that stare was shot my way – what would my mum have done as a follow-up punishment?

But I’m glad I had enough sense to never find out.

Unfortunately, this death stare isn’t one of the things I’ve inherited from my mum. In fact I did try it on my children and they actually laughed at me! They thought it was my way of breaking the tension. And when I tried it in front of mirror, I can understand why… It was a laughable sight! I’ll keep practising though…

What about you – Where you a good child or where you challenging?Β 

The only punishment my children respect is the banning one – I threaten to ban their phones and PlayStation 4. It works a dream!

How did your parents/guardians deal with your behaviour? Β And did it work? How do you mange your children’s behaviour?

I’d love to know more about how time has changed behavioural issues so please drop me a comment below with your experiences…

Suki… X!

(Whilst this post is supposed to be humorous, I appreciate that some of you may have had a tough upbringing and I apologise if this post has brought back any unwanted feelings or memories)

 

 

 

 

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57 Comments Add yours

  1. kyleoyier says:

    Great post

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Baffledmum says:

      Thank you 😊

      Like

  2. Wonderful post. You really get people to reconnect with memories. Basically if I behaved badly would get no pudding – worked every time. I started the β€˜I’m going to count to 5 and then Im going to call Santa’ threat. It worked brilliantly. Now not so effective after THAT chat.

    Liked by 4 people

    1. Baffledmum says:

      Shame the minds don’t stay innocent and our tactics have to change! πŸ˜†

      Liked by 1 person

  3. CJ Porter says:

    Ha My dad had a ‘look’ too! Although it was more of a ‘disappointed’ than ‘death’ stare. Still worked wonders though.
    It’s the reason I’ve never even thought of lifting a hand to my own son.
    Thankfully I have inherited it πŸ˜‚
    Lovely thoughtful post Suki.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Baffledmum says:

      My kids tell me it’s worse when I tell them I’m disappointed with them over I’m angry with them… Funny that, so that’s what I use! πŸ˜†

      Like

      1. CJ Porter says:

        Ah. Have we found the chink in a disobedient child’s armour πŸ˜†
        We use what we must πŸ™‚

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Baffledmum says:

        True… πŸ˜‚

        Like

  4. Krishna says:

    I was taken care by grandmother till 5 years as my parents were working and had to travel to another district in train early morning and reach home late. Grandmother told me stories from Bhagavatham and I was a good child. But when I go to father’s home, lots of kids there and I run in dust and around trees to pick mangoes. Grandmother there was strict and she scolds me for playing in dust. She had a hard time cleaning me. In the evening, she took me to temple. When I grew up, I get naughty sometimes and parents shout at me. I really hate shouting. But they are so loving too, so I forget it easily. When I was said anything with gentleness and explain patiently, I hear it and do it that way. As I’m not a mother, I really don’t know how to manage children’s behaviour. With my 2 year old nephew, I just tickle him when he bites me. When he tries to kill ant, I tell him don’t do it. Ant is a poor fellow and his mother and father cries, he won’t do it. Most times, this work 😊

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Baffledmum says:

      I think it’s easier to discipline your own children over nieces and nephews, them you just want to spoil… ❀
      I hate shouting too, I do it when I’ve really had enough but after trying other techniques. I think it teaches kids to shout back so is inappropriate… Thank you for sharing your childhood experiences with me… πŸ’•

      Like

  5. blindzanygirl says:

    Lol Suki. I can just see you looking at your Death Stare in the mirror. I was a very very good child too. I finally rebelled when I was 19. I didn’t have a good childhood though. I never had kids of my own, but don’t think I would have had a Death Stare lol. Good post Suki x

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Baffledmum says:

      My death stare works great on hubby though πŸ˜‚ just not the boys! … I think we all rebel a little when we believe we’ve reached adulthood, then we think we know best… πŸ˜‚

      Liked by 1 person

      1. blindzanygirl says:

        Lol Suki xx

        Liked by 2 people

  6. gsps❀ says:

    Memories cherished. Really I think ours will be the last obedient generation πŸ˜‚ if I give my son deadly stare he says, mamma “good excersie, keep doing.πŸ˜‚

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Baffledmum says:

      I know what you mean! I don’t think I still would speak up against my parents now but it’s down to respect more than being scared of them. πŸ™β€

      Liked by 1 person

  7. huguetta says:

    Oh yes we’re so familiar with this death stare hahah We only needed one look as you were describing and it’s so funny that you couldn’t master this look πŸ˜€ I used to try to learn how to frown like my mother and I always laughed like crazy πŸ˜€
    Anyway I believe the punishment by banning is certainly better πŸ™‚ Thank you for sharing

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Baffledmum says:

      Yes the banning definitely works a dream! All I have is “your phones banned & if you argue with me it’ll be banned for longer!” I didn’t hear a peep… πŸ˜‚

      Liked by 1 person

      1. huguetta says:

        Oh yes it is these days 😁 They will turn into angels! hahaa

        Liked by 1 person

  8. I could relate totally Sukhvinder.. same here, that stare worked so so well on me.. no scoldings nor screams, no shouts, no hittings, only one stare.. lol.. the same worked well for my son too.. lol.. loved going through your words dear.. thank you for taking me down memory lane.. πŸ˜‡πŸ‘ŒπŸΌπŸ‘ŒπŸΌπŸ‘ŒπŸΌ….. πŸ’•

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Baffledmum says:

      Well done for being able to replicate the stare! I wish I could have… I’m glad I made you reminisce, thank you for sharing your experience with me… ❀

      Liked by 1 person

      1. It was my absolute pleasure.. πŸ˜‡πŸ˜‡

        Liked by 2 people

  9. Oh yes! I know what you’re talking about. I was a obedient kid too (as I would like to believe but I know that’s not the truth) πŸ˜€ I guess my elder sister would get in lot of trouble because of me. Being the youngest has huge benefits you see. πŸ˜€

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Baffledmum says:

      Yes I know this only too well! I got many death stares that should have been aimed at my younger sister but I’d take the wrap to protect her… Sisterly love πŸ’ž

      Like

  10. orkidedatter says:

    Oh, YES, I was too, I really can recognize myself in your words, and so much more you know…I thought always that I was kind so good things happened to me, but unfortunately it did not always do that. I haven’t given up and still I’m kind, but good things happen now❀️
    πŸ¦‹

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Baffledmum says:

      And I hope many more good things will come your way… Thank you for sharing your experience with me β€πŸ’•

      Liked by 1 person

      1. orkidedatter says:

        You always kindly welcome, and you always warm my heart, thank you SukiπŸ¦‹Your post is always very inspired and heartfelting, and it is easy to be very engadedπŸ¦‹I love the way you write and do your blog❀️I hope you enjoy your dayπŸ¦‹

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Baffledmum says:

        β€πŸ’•

        Like

  11. Hahaha, sorry, but somehow I am laughing at you without even seeing your death stare!!
    I was obedient as a child, and I never remember my parents thrashing us or grounding us. And as far as I remember they only had to threaten us to take away my TV time. They didn’t even have a death stare, but apparently I have that kind of stare, and my mum says that it is going to be enough for my kids! (The thing is, I know that too, because that death stare has been enough so far to make anyone fall with discipline, or shoo away unwanted people, if you know what I mean πŸ˜‰

    Liked by 4 people

    1. Baffledmum says:

      Lucky you! My stare worked on other children when I was working in schools but unfortunately not on my own. I think they know my nature & that I’m a softie at heart! … I hope your stare does you well in the future… πŸ‘€

      Liked by 2 people

      1. Hahaha, hope so πŸ˜€

        Liked by 2 people

  12. Suki, Suki, Suki! You made me laugh, and reminiscent and almost cry because I could relate so much with every word! For me it was the stare and the name! When something was wrong calling me ‘Cristina Maria’ was my tip to be aware!πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚β˜ΊοΈπŸ’Ÿ

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Baffledmum says:

      Oh no! It’s always worse when your whole name is used!!! Like being told off by the head teacher at school! πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I know, right?! Scary! πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

        Liked by 1 person

  13. As a teacher, I can say that β€œbig eyes” works.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Baffledmum says:

      πŸ‘€… πŸ˜†β€

      Liked by 1 person

  14. Fisherofmen says:

    You and your sibling had a conscious and were respectable to authority. These youngens nowadays ain’t got a care in the world. Little soulless….never mind. You know what great post this reminds me of my nieces and nephew my sister just looks at them one time and my niece and nephew respond to her look like if she gave them a spanking. All I I say is dang, what. Impressive.

    Hahaa. Unfortunately me I threw fire crackers in the at people. Dropped firecracker in the ground so I could see the nasty water come up. Jumped all on the couch. Would moon walk on the kitchen table. Did cartwheels and back flips off the bed. Pull pranks on my siblings. Hide my parents belongings and ask them “somewhere in this apartment is your things can you find it before the time runs out”
    I mean I tried to listen it just wasn’t interesting to me at that point in time but I turned out fine. I guess. I hope. Hahaa. Ask my dad and mom they called me a Dennis to menace.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Baffledmum says:

      😳 can’t believe you were such a terror!!! Your poor mum & dad… Hopefully your not still menacing people in your life…

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Fisherofmen says:

        Wellllllllllll just my wife. 😌😌😌. Naw I matured I always did that because I was bored. So I got into alot of trouble.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Baffledmum says:

        Excuses, excuses! πŸ˜†

        Like

      3. Fisherofmen says:

        πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

        Liked by 1 person

    2. “Moonwalk on the kitchen table”? I so admire your spirit! I bet your parents were so proud of you. Exasperated, but deep down proud.

      Liked by 2 people

      1. Fisherofmen says:

        Hahaa yeah πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

        Liked by 2 people

  15. Well technically I am only 17 so I am still a child but death stare does work πŸ˜‚ But it’s my father’s death stare! But more or less, for my brother the banning one works more. It’s really the combination of both

    Liked by 4 people

    1. Baffledmum says:

      My dad was a softie compared to my mum. But I do remember my brother got a lot more stares than me & my sister… Boys are just naughtier I guess! πŸ˜† & yes banning works a treat… πŸ‘β€

      Liked by 2 people

    2. Baffledmum says:

      I can’t log into your new blog, is it up & running?

      Liked by 1 person

  16. Very nice ! Let’s see my mom did do the stare … but what really scared me was when she went silent .. lol she was always vocal if she didn’t like something we were doing, or saying and would let us know with this stern tone in her voice but when the silent side came out we knew we really messed up. It works really well with my kids too. Lol I’m such a talkative tell my mind person when I don’t answer or talk to them they know .. πŸ˜‚

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Baffledmum says:

      That’s a good one! I’ll have to try the silent treatment with my kids. Although they are becoming much better behaved as they are growing up… 🀞

      Liked by 1 person

      1. It’s funny how it works . It still works on my son at 18 , my 23 yr old daughter not as much she just shakes her head .lol oh my husband has gotten the treatment and it works lolπŸ™‚

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Baffledmum says:

        πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

        Liked by 1 person

  17. This is my new favorite Suki post. It’s an engaging topic, isn’t it? And your write up is perfect, I think.

    Like you, Suki, my mom raised three boys. My condolences, by the way. To be honest, she wasn’t quite as skillful in the discipline department as your own mother or you. Mom was exceptional (in all three of her son’s eyes), but like anyone she wasn’t perfect. Discipline was her Achilles’s Heel. She wasn’t bad at it so much as just a bit clumsy. We took her lessons to heart anyway — lucky for us.

    I so admire your mother (and you). I believe the science is crystal clear — corporal punishment tends to create somewhat dysfunctional adults. Not always, but tends to. Not only are you superbly skilled at disciplining, but you seem skilled in all the right ways.

    You state you’re interested in how things have changed. Then you might be interested in this. 70 years worth of studies of “primitive” hunting/gathering peoples have found they never physically discipline children. To put that in context, they tend to live in dangerous environments. A kid can easily get into trouble. But they never spank, hit, or beat their kids. Anthropologists believe those groups are how everyone lived before the first civilizations were born. I find that fascinating. It’s pretty much the opposite of what I expected.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Baffledmum says:

      You are full of amazing facts in response to my posts, thank you! … I always believed we should go back to being stricter with our kids, including a little hit now & then. It worked well in the past to discipline children but your insight has made me wonder… πŸ€”

      Liked by 1 person

      1. To be sure, different societies have different needs. Hunting/gathering people are fiercely egalitarian, fiercely independent. The anthropologists call their parenting style ‘non-directional” meaning they just don’t force their kids to do things. They advise, they guide, but they don’t compel. Yet, they don’t need to. There are not many things in their world that you must do but hate doing. Not when compared to ours, at least. That’s why they can get away with a relaxed, easy going parental style.

        I’m not sure we ourselves can do much better than you and your mum.

        Like

      2. I should add, there is one way that hunter/gatherers discipline people — not just kids, but adults too — through gossip and ostracism. If you do something bad, everyone talks about it . If you do something really bad, they ostracize you. And if you, say, murder someone, they exile you. Sometimes for months or years. Sometimes for life.

        The theory is actually kind of beautiful, Suki, they send you away until you have learned to value people. That’s how they see it.

        Liked by 1 person

  18. Grounded or belt πŸ™‚ that’s how my mum roll

    Liked by 1 person

  19. Rageshree says:

    I can soo relate to this… My mum is such a great person but her death stare is just too muchπŸ˜‚

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Baffledmum says:

      πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

      Liked by 1 person

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